Detoxing the Soul

It's been awhile since I have posted and I must admit, I have been battling a bit lately. Nothing that I can't overcome, but it has been effecting all areas of my life. Truth be told, I am battling some depression. If you have read my previous posts, I am very open about my bouts and moments that I have with it. I have suffered from depression since I was younger. At one point it had almost become an accessory like a purse or shoes. Everywhere I went, it would go too.

As I was sitting in church today, something amazing happened. One of our several incredible pastors said something that struck me so hard. I felt completely winded, immobilized, and slowly as if my body had broken and shattered into millions of pieces. Tears streamed down my face so fast I couldn't even hide them from those around me.

He said something so full of truth and so raw, that after years of searching and wondering why I have suffered from depression, finally had been answered in one swift moment. He said depression is caused by never truly appreciating what God has given and chosen to give to you in your life and comparing that to what others have around you. Talk about a punch of reality!

I am human as is everyone else and I would be absolutely lying if I said I have never compared myself or what I have or do not have to others. But what hurt me the most was being faced of cold harsh truth of not truly being appreciative of what God has blessed me with. What God has chosen to give me and help me accomplish. That to me, goes so deep. It's not because I have never thanked God, but it's because my gratefulness isn't forever lasting. I feel happy, content, and grateful for a moment...maybe a month, a few weeks, a week, a day, or maybe just a couple of hours...and then I am wondering why am I not having X. Y, Z yet or why isn't X, Y, Z happening? The true meaning of appreciating what God has blessed us all with is not wishing for more, not looking to the left and right of what others have better or less than we have...it's the act of being absolutely content and happy with exactly what we have.

"A heart of peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30

What a declaring statement. One that put so much into perspective for me today. One that I hope to never forget, especially during those trying times. There are no magic pills that will make this go away. This depression will eat us from the inside out. It is our job to fight it. Let us detox our souls. We know how important it is to detox our bodies every now and then due to all the pollutants and toxins that we consume. Our souls are our life support, our life line...so it's so crucial to detox and rid our souls of this disease.
Believe me when I say, I know this will not or ever be an easy task. It will be one where you must work at it every single day. But I know that once you are able to truly feel happy, content, and blessed with why, who, and what you have in your life and not compare yourself with others...but instead, celebrate others and what they have...you will truly be at peace in your heart <3.

-Becky