How To Overcome The Fear of Failing

Do you ever feel so lost that you don't know what to do, what decision to make, what path or direction to take or go in, or who to lean on during these times? I have and to be honest, I am going through this exact season right now. This has been one absolutely challenging, yet rewarding year. A year that I have learned a lot. I have learned so much about God and my ever-changing relationship with Him.

I feel like I've been walking with my head down all month, worried I might trip or fall if I'm not careful where I step. But what I have failed to do, is look up. To look around me and to see what God is trying to tell me. It didn't hit me until the other day...and especially yesterday.

God's direction hit me like a ton of bricks, especially when I read the same message over and over and over. But as if that wasn't enough...the same exact message was presented to me during church. And BAM! Because I was too busy making sure I didn't trip or fall, and I was too concerned in making things "perfect" within myself...I was missing the picture in front of me this entire time...

To let my faith be BIGGER than my fear. Simple right? Not for me and not for most.

I can't tell you enough how much I wish this wasn't hard. But it is. It's the human in us. We tend to only believe what we can see, feel, and hear. But that's the beauty of faith. Believing in something that isn't concrete. Something we may not feel, see, or hear like we do with others around us. But someone we know is always there with us.

I, for one, am not exempt from always having the immense and never-failing faith or trust in God. I struggle with this a lot more than I'd like to admit. And it's not that I don't believe in Him. It's the fear of me failing. I am terrified of failure.

When did we become so afraid of failing? As babies we are born with only two fears. A fear of falling and a fear of loud sounds. Babies who start learning how to walk, didn't fear failing. They kept trying. Fear of failing is a learned habit. Why is it so difficult, so impossible, to do something today, that we had no trouble doing when we were less than a year old?

It is said, that if we don't fail...it's because we are NOT doing enough. The more we do, the more we will fail. And the more we fail, the more we will learn from it.

After realizing how true these BOLD statements are...it makes me feel dumb for worrying about failing. But I know this fear is not something that will go away over night. But by letting God into my life, my thoughts, my prayers, my insecurities, my weaknesses, my everything... He will help me overcome this. Just as He has with everything else.

You see, being a perfectionist has been something that has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. In school I was considered a "goody two shoes" or an "overachiever." But little did most know...words of affirmation is my ULTIMATE love language. When my teachers and even other students would praise me with their words or ask other students to model their behavior after me...my love tank would fill and fill... Overflowing with the love I needed.

There were times where I could have done something AMAZING and not received praise for it...and my love tank would be completely depleted. I would feel like an absolute failure and I would become my own worst enemy. My own worst critic. I would put myself down...thinking I could have done better. I could be better. I've always been fueled by competition...competition that ONLY I know I will WIN at.

And this is why perfectionism in me was created...why the fear of failing was born....the CLASSIC cause and effect.

But the answer is simple and it's also sad. Every time I fear that I will fail...I lose faith. I lose faith in the Creator of the Universe. The One who took up the cross to forgive us of all our sins. The one who forgives us and loves us eternally...because my fear of failing is me saying, that God isn't BIGGER than my problem. That my problem is BIGGER than my God.

In order to change this way of thinking, I need to stop letting Jesus be my passenger, but be my partner, leader, and guider. I need Him to be in every aspect of my life...my plans, my present, my future. And I need to realize that my actions and how I let myself think...will determine EVERYTHING. What we believe, we conceive.

What we go through will cause us to have a breakdown or a breakthrough. It's if we fall apart after hitting rock bottom or how high we bounce back. But it's all in how we perceive it to be.

I challenge you, to fail forward with me, to let Jesus be your partner in life, to involve Him in every aspect of your life, to remember that God is and ALWAYS will be, BIGGER than our problems, and to live and grow in faith. <3

-Becky